Thursday, April 16, 2020

A Month In

April is going by quickly. I was shocked yesterday to realize that the month is already half over. Little by little, time overtakes the short deadlines I set for myself; first, let's get to the end of March. Next, let's get to my parents anniversary; next, let's make it to Easter. Now we are on the count down to Rosie's birthday and today we counted the boxes left on the calendar together - six days. After that, the deadline is May 1st and the inevitable anxious waiting as we wonder what our governor will tell us then. Will school resume at all this year? (probably not.) What about organized sports? (unlikely) Everyone is desperately waiting to hear about the plan to reopen businesses. People are anxious to go back to work. Perhaps, with careful plans in place, we will be able to, bit by bit. Our curve has flattened. But what comes next? This is all an unknown.



I am tired. I am physically tired and also emotionally tired. Now, a month in, the determined optimism that swept through our community at first is lagging. The teddy bears on porches were replaced by Easter eggs after April 1st, but far less houses participated. Now, a few straggly Easter eggs remain, dangling from trees or taped up in windows, but most people are tired. It's hard enough to get up and go through another day of sameness, of waiting, of clutching desperately for any good news, just to go to bed and repeat the same thing the next day. There is no energy left for side-walk-chalked messages of hope or kid activities. People put on homemade masks to go out, hurrying their errands and going home to shut themselves in. Others are becoming more disgruntled by the day. At the gas station a few days ago, one man at the pump loudly stated his intention of taking his risks and making his own choices. On the village facebook page, people are back to talking about suspicious cars in the neighborhood, lost pets and questions about how to pay bills since the village offices are closed. The library, the parks, the baseball fields, the hang out spots are empty. Behind closed doors kids are bored and schoolwork packets are either already long done or half-heartedly attempted. My own kids are showing signs of irritation, especially the big boys. The little ones are, for the most part, still content.


the little girls love doing  yoga with me each day!
I spent all last week sewing masks one after another. I was thankful for the work; glad to have something to do to keep me busy. On Monday I finished up my last set and mailed them out. I've taken the last few days to clean my house again and reorganize my sewing room and clean my sewing machine, which was packed full of lint and bits of thread and needed the tension adjusted again. A new sewing needle. Now, it waits for its next task. Wait. We all wait. 


Easter came and went. I filled the baskets the night before and fell asleep before setting the baskets on the kids beds for them to find when they woke up the next morning. I was wakened before sunrise by two very annoyed little girls who demanded their baskets. They scrambled back to bed and pretended to be asleep while I put their baskets on their beds. And then! The whole day was a long stretch of candy and candy wrappers and them playing with their new LOL dolls and barbie clothes while I cooked dinner and helped them make strawberry cupcakes. We didn't have anyone over and none of us ate as much as we thought we would. Leftovers for days!





In the afternoon the babies and I went to the nature preserve and they ran off some energy. I had wanted to take pictures of the girls new Easter regency dresses and I did, though at the cost of clean dresses. đŸ˜‚ I will have a post up sometime soon about these dresses. I squeezed sewing them up in the last few days before Easter, getting up very early and staying up late. I did not have time or inclination to make my own regency gown but I might try to make it for my birthday next month. Benjamin wore his Twig & Tale Treeclimber Pantaloons and the matching cap I made him last month. They all had baths when we got home and the clothes got an overnight soak in oxiclean.





We looked at the full moon last week, went searching for ramps in the woods (and we found plenty!), got gas for $1.23 a gallon and took too many trips around town looking for a little stray dog that people kept posting about on the village facebook page, begging someone, anyone to come pick it up since it kept darting into the road. We lost power during a severe thunderstorm one night and the next morning trees were down all over town, trampolines blown out of yards and a friend who lives outside of town lost his entire barn. Later, it was confirmed that six (six!) tornadoes had moved through the area. 


As we go into this last part of April my hope is that soon we will have answers. That we see fewer and fewer new cases and less and less deaths. That we have patience; that we endure, that we love each other.


We will come out of this. We already have come so far. 

Much love,

Sarah  

1 comment:

  1. Dear Sarah,
    Bless you for your patience, and bless the little ones for being content. Theirs is full living in the moment.

    Our twins are almost 13, and remain largely content. Since before birth they have been each other's primary friend...or foe, depending on the moment. We walk and bicycle and play games together more than before, and that has been a silver lining. Or we visit and help at DH's mother's little farm, and I go sit out on a rock in the midst of the creek and watch the crayfish and wigglies under the water, and the bees and birds, and rest.


    Underneath, though, for DH and I, the current of worry flows. I've limited news once again, as common purpose has fractured with quarrels. Thinking back to earliest history, hasn't that always been the way humans tend to operate? I am thankful your governor, ours, and nearby governors are working together...with care, and kindness, and reams of patience, we can get going again. I only hope that some of the complacency and needless hurry will have been burned away. The world has never been our bubble; we only believed it to be so.

    Very best, and what darling dresses on the girls!

    Natalie in the Bluegrass

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your lovely thoughts!